Domestic Violence Revives Ex-Prisoners’ Wartime Nightmares

“I spent 20 days in a detention camp, where I survived rape. The abuse during the marriage, both physical and psychological, lasted longer… that camp went on longer,” a woman who was sexually abused while she was a teenage prisoner during the war told BIRN. In 1992, when she was 15, she was taken from the detention camp where she was being held in Bratunac, and raped in abandoned houses that had been left empty by fleeing Bosniaks. After she got out of the camp she met a man, her future husband. She told him what she had been through during the war, and for several months, he said that he supported her.After she got married however, the situation changed. Her husband began to abuse her both physically and mentally. He refused to believe that she was the victim of sexual violence, saying that she was a willing participant.“He provoked and abused me on a daily basis. I thought about suicide many times. Images of what I survived in the camp came back to me,” she recalled. She said that he even kicked her in the back when she was nine months pregnant.After six years of marriage, she said that she could not stand it anymore and decided to leave – “either to survive, or to die”. She divorced her husband and asked for medical help. Having no money to live on, she began to clean houses to feed her children. Her ex-husband continued to threaten her, but she managed to escape, and the threats came to an end.Twice abusedBranka Antic-Stauber, director of the Power of Woman association, which provides psychological, medical and legal support to victims, said that 90 per cent of people who approach her organisation after suffering domestic violence are also the victims of wartime sexual abuse.“Men are often unable to cope with the fact that their wives belonged to someone else, regardless of the fact that it was an act of violence,” Antic-Stauber told BIRN.This was what happened to a woman from Brcko who was raped by three soldiers in 1992. Several years afterwards, she met her future husband and told him what happened to her.“After few years of marriage, the problems started. He was telling me that I was a whore, that I did it voluntarily. I was telling him that it was not the case… He is aware of that, but he wants to hurt me,” she said.She said that her husband had another woman, and would get drunk and then come home in the middle of the night and throw her out of the house along with their children.But she despite this, she has not left her husband because she has nowhere to go, she explained: “He uses every opportunity to humiliate me. But I do not complain, I will not say anything to him.”She said that she could not even take the children to a safe house because they are grown up.
“Sometimes I run away with one child… but he beats the children too. Once he cut one child’s face because he was defending me,” she recalled.Finding refugeNeuropsychiatrists say that domestic violence victims often feel that that they are trapped and have lost control of their own lives. Economic dependence and traditional views about divorce are cited as reasons why some women feel unable to break out of abusive relationships.“These women must be approached in a sensitive manner. One must never ask them questions which are judgmental, opinionated or curious, like asking them why they didn’t divorce earlier,” said Teufika Ibrahimefendic, a therapist from an NGO called Vive Zene.Psychiatrist Amra Delic said that domestic violence victims need to know that if they do leave their husband, they will be safe from retribution.“In order to come out of that cycle of violence, ensuring safety is what is most needed for the victim. The victim needs to know that she has a community around her that supports her,” she said.There are currently nine safe houses in Bosnia and Herzegovina where victims with children can take temporary refuge. Ibrahimefendic said that they can also accommodate female children regardless of how old they are and male children under 12.Sabiha